Fear of fear is different to fear of the real thing
A problem I noticed in myself during a period of transition in my life, was that most of my fears were not real.
I solved that in two ways, mentally and physically.
This helped me gain significant confidence, as it gave me a method to evaporate many of life’s fears. In fact, I now say that those fears were a blessing.
The next time you encounter fear consider yourself one of the lucky ones
Do you run from fear? Do you sense it coming and back off? No one ever tells us to stop running away from fear. No…
Mentally I worked through the left-brain analysis of the mechanism of my fears. For example (not a real case for me) the fear of flying is very commonly a fear of the thought of flying, not the actual flying.
That gave me an AHA moment as I realised that my thoughts are my own creations — imaginations based on my beliefs.
I could not dig into my own beliefs in any meaningful way to discover why they triggered the fears that held me back. So I chose to address this issue indirectly through physical action.
Experiencing the physical dissolves the belief that you will fear it
For example, let’s say you have a fear of “heights”. Remember, those quotes mean that you fear the fear of heights in your imagination, not the actual heights.
You go to a beach with a low retaining wall from which you can jump. You climb on to it, checking that you’re not going to break a leg, and count 5–4–3–2–1 and jump. You hit with a thump, pull yourself to your feet, and you are no longer thinking about height, nor fear. You dissolved the fear (of the fear) by experiencing the physical reality.
This works at parties at work and when dating. When you face your fears (your fear of XYZ) by pushing yourself into the experience of XYZ you dissolve that fear.
Try it — face the physical fear, and watch it dissolve.
Not Minding Leads to Confidence, Not Caring to Disengagement and Depression
Not minding matters because by consciously managing this skill you can rebuild and further build your self-confidence…