…ve sometimes in the future, sometimes in the past. Unfortunately, I often forgot about the present. This behavior set me apart from happiness, and I needed to solve this problem. I found the solution by shaping my mindset. Once I understood happiness is a choice, my life became…
Seeking happiness as an answer is always doomed to fail
Good post, I enjoyed your reasoning. You’re very right that seeking happiness as a goal is always doomed to fail. Seeking it outside you — as in the “just wanting to find someone to make me happy” on Tinder — simply engrains your hidden “truth” that you are not worthy of happiness.
Likewise, seeking happiness as an answer to “the daily emotional challenges of existence” will only validate your own world view that life is indeed emotionally challenging. The truth is, life is life, and it doesn’t always make sense. Hence: Why Your Daily Emotional Challenges Of Existence Will Not Be Solved By Finding Happiness.
What you’re seeking externally, is already within you — you’re looking in the wrong spot. In that regard, I don’t entirely agree that having no regrets is a good thing. Donald Trump has no regrets because he doesn’t exhibit any capacity for self-reflection — he simply lives for the moment as do drug addicts.
Regrets are an important tool for self-reflection, and for finding that thing inside you that you are looking for outside. I think that going to the grave with regrets is fine, as long as you are not living in them. (On the other hand, going to the grave with unforgiveness, as my brother did, is to be avoided — that is doing yourself a disservice.)
I totally agree with your view about moving out of living in the past and future, and to key into the present. I call this being an Explorer, like a 3-year old. We tend to get that ground out of us, but that is what we need to recover as we grow older and wish to become self-reliant. People living in the past and future are The Searchers. The Protectors were Searchers, but they’ve retreated. In fact, The Protectors are no longer experiencing life but are simply reacting to it in a way which serves their goal of retreating.
Most of this is mindset, as you explain. It’s not easy to change, so well done, you’re on the path to being an Explorer of life.